RSS

Category Archives: You! Read this!

Just Another Story Ep. 3

I stared at myself in the mirror with the clothes Emily picked out for me. Emily’s house is something I could’ve only dreamed. Her dad works as a VP in a multinational company. Her mom is a dentist and her brother’s a lawyer. She told me that she was managing the office she was working in. She’s indeed from a well-off family. And I can only imagine how the rest of my batchmates were doing.

“What do you say?” She asked in the middle of my daydreaming.
“It’s not for me.”
“What? You don’t like it?”
“I don’t like me.”

I turned away and changed back into my casual clothes and neatly folded the new clothes.

“Then what are you gonna do with those?” She asked in a very soft voice.
“You can have them.”
“Claaaaaiiiiirrrrrreeeeee!” She screamed.

I immediately turned to her.

“You are such a baby!” She shouted.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked, confused.
“What is wrong with YOU? Were you really like that even in high school? I used to see you so jolly and all, but the more I spend time with you, the more I find out how lousy and boring you are as a person!”

It struck me. She sighed.

“Look, Claire. You’re what, 21? You’re way off the teenage life, you gotta pick yourself up! How do you want to show yourself in the homecoming when you’re trashing your own damn self! You’re like the end of the world!”
“That’s the reason I don’t want to go, Emily.” I told her as I slid down to the floor.
“You can tell me.”
“I… I don’t know.”
“I’m your friend.”
“For now….”
“And you are just gonna let me slip away like what you did to them?”

Did I?

“You’re right. I am a lousy and boring person.”
“And you should stop pitying yourself, it makes you annoying.”

I smiled.

“You know, I used to tell somebody that.”
“And?”
“Still, he tells me about how darned his life is, like there’s nothing he can do anymore. It got to my nerves so I changed my number to ward him off.”
“I would probably do the same thing to you.”

I looked at her. She’s pretty even without smiling.

“Did your mom give you those braces?”
“Yes, she did. Why?”
“So you didn’t have to pay, right?”
“Of course not. Silly. You need to wear them, too? I could ask mom to have an appointment with you, and I’ll tell her to charge not a single cent.” She said, flashing those neon orange braces.
“Nah. I don’t want to.”
“Don’t worry, Claire. We’re gonna go to the homecoming together. I’m gonna make you the prettiest you can be, and I won’t leave you alone for a second. Okay?”
“Promise?”
“Yes! But you really need to build up your confidence. Gee, I didn’t know you were so insecure.”
“Well….”
“But that’s okay. You just have to trust me. I’m your best friend.”

I felt assured.

“So, feeling better, or do you still feel anything bad?”
“I’m hungry.” I said, out of honesty and not sarcasm.
“Yeah, me too. Let’s ransack the kitchen.”

I was like a dumber just looking at whatever stuff she does. I was ignorant of house chores, and I know that I will not make a good wife.

“You got any craving?” She asked.
“I don’t know how to cook.”

She stared at me for a while and chuckled.

“It’s easy. Lemme show you. For a starter, I’ll be teaching you to make carbonara with ham-and-cheese-stuffed chicken fillet. What do you say?”
“Sounds difficult to memorize.”
“Haha. But it’s not difficult to make.”
“And I’m not sure it’s not difficult to like.” I said with a smile, like a kid being taught a new thing.

And that’s pretty much what I was like when we were in their kitchen. While munching in, I thought of how envious I am of Emily. She has everything I had been seeking for. I always thought I was better than anyone else but, as I’m getting older, I find out how much I’ve lagged behind everyone else.

“You should sleep here the night before the homecoming.” Emily said to me.
“Me? Oh no, I don’t do sleepovers. Nakakahiya.”
“Nah, it’ll be fun. I’ll ask my mom to ask your mom.”
“I hope she agrees.”
“Oh come on, you’re no longer a minor.”
“Yea, I know. I keep telling myself that.” I sighed out.

(I have no idea why this is in my drafts folder, but I’ll go on put it up, not that anybody follows this story but oh well. :P)

Advertisements
 

I can’t say I’m not flattered.

Did I spell it right?

I know I haven’t been around for so long, so I don’t expect you guys to go about this page.

But I’d still like to thank you for dropping by from time to time, and trying to tell me you’re still waiting on new posts that I’m not sure will be coming out soon.

So, it’s summer time, the whole time for vacation so I’d expect photos when we go out but since we’re low on cash, we’d rather stay home while I stay addicted to some online game from the local server.

You want screen shots?

Nah.

Let’s just say it’s my way to take out the stresses brought about by many stressors. 🙂

So, how’ve you all been?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2011 in You! Read this!

 

She Said, He Said

I laid in bed beside him, with my back against him. In front of me was the wall. Slowly, I spread out my fingers and rested my palm against it, trying to feel the coldness of the concrete.

I had been thinking about this for a long time.

“Why am I here? I don’t belong here.” I thought to myself. 

From behind me he stretched his arm to reach my hand.
 
But just as soon as the tip of his finger touched my skin, I took my hand away from the wall. 

He reached for my face, trying to turn it to his. He carressed my cheek and felt that it was warm… And wet.

“You’re crying?” I suppose he was startled.

Then I took his hand off my face, held it for a moment and sighed. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

I couldn’t say a word. 

I thought the coldness of the wall would make me feel better.  

“It ends here.” I said, almost shaking. 

“What… did you say?” He finally broke the longest and most deafening silence. 

With my thumb, I massaged his knuckles, hoping it would calm him while I thought of the best way to tell him. 

“It’s not the same anymore.” I said. I could swear I went baritone. 

“You don’t love me anymore.” He assumed. I knew he’d think so. 

I closed my eyes for a while and breathed in before turning to face him. 

“I still do.”
“Then what are you telling me?”

I traced his face with my fingers. From his forehead, his brows, his eyelashes and eyelids, to his nose and lips. I didn’t want to miss anything.

But I am sure to miss every part of him.

But I have to tell him. I have to tell him what has been crushing my heart. 

“I don’t feel that you love me anymore.” I said. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. 
“But I do.”
“That’s what you say. But I, I feel like I’m nothing to you. It’s just so different now. I wish you didn’t change.”
“I thought you said you don’t want us to end. We were not going to fall apart.”

I couldn’t answer. 

I rested my forehead against his and hugged him gently. 

“I love you.” He told me. 

“Sshh…” It was the first time I heard him say that after days of not talking. 

I ran my fingers over his eyes to close them. He held me so close that I felt his heart beating. I wanted this to last. I wanted him to be the last. We stayed like that until he finally fell asleep.

It didn’t feel as good and as warm as it did when he first held me. His heart didn’t even beat as loud as it did as before.

I watched him sleep.

I guess only while he slept will I have the strength to tell him. 

“I love you, Carlo. I love you so much that it hurts just as much thinking about how you can still try to find someone else. You promised me we would be together till the end. But you changed it all when you started flirting around. I tried to be patient. But I just can’t take it anymore that you can go on not talking to me for days. It breaks me apart that you don’t treat me as well as you did before. And what hurts me more is that just as soon as you say those three words, my heart just melts. And it’s not right anymore. It can’t go on this way. I love you too much that I never want to lose you, but I just feel that it’s you who is slipping away.”

I looked at him the whole night. I looked at the face of the man I wanted to lay in bed with and wake up next to for the rest of my life. 

But the rest of my life ends tonight.

I placed my hand against the wall again, maybe telling it to protect him as I can no longer do so.   

It has been forty-three days since I left.  

And he never wondered where I went. He never looked for me. 

So I was right. He didn’t love me anymore. He just couldn’t tell me.

I closed my eyes.

I still remember every feature of his face.

I still remember… 

 

He Said, She said

She laid in bed beside me, with her back against me. In her front was the wall. Slowly, she spread out her fingers and rested her palm against it, as if trying to feel the coldness of the concrete.

I didn’t see it coming.

For a few seconds, she let her warmth pass from the center of her hand, to the tip of her fingers and then finally to the concrete. It looked to me that she wanted to leave a mark.

From behind her I stretched my arm to reach her hand and fit my fingers between hers.

“You belong here.” I wanted her to feel. 

But just as soon as my finger touched her skin, she took her hand off the wall.

I was puzzled. 

I reached my arm again, this time toward her face, to turn it to mine. I gently felt her left cheek on my palm. I caressed it. It felt warm… And wet. 

I blinked. 

“You’re crying?”

Then she took my hand off her face, held it for a moment and sighed. 

“What’s wrong?”

She didn’t say a word. 

It seemed as if the coldness of the wall passed into her instead. 

“It ends here.” She said in a voice more hoarse than when she had her worst cough. 

It was the longest twenty-seven seconds I’ve counted.

“What… did you say?” I hoped I heard wrong. 

With her thumb, she massaged my knuckles. It didn’t help calm my senses. 

“It’s not the same anymore.” She said after she stopped massaging. This time, her voice dropped a few more pitches. 

“You don’t love me anymore.” I said, supposedly in a question. 

She let go of my hand and rolled to face me. 

“I still do.”
“Then what are you telling me?”

She traced my face with her fingers. From my forehead, my brows, my eyelashes and eyelids, to my nose and lips.

“I don’t feel that you love me anymore.” She said. I watched her tears fall sideways to the pillow.
“But I do.”
“That’s what you say. But I, I feel like I’m nothing to you. It’s just so different now. I wish you didn’t change.”
“I thought you said you don’t want us to end. We were not going to fall apart.”

She didn’t say anything. 

She rested her forehead against mine and hugged me gently. 

“I love you.” I told her. 

“Sshh…”

With her fingers, she closed my eyes. I held her close enough for her to feel my heart beating. I wanted her to be the last girl to ever make me feel my heart beat as loud as it can. I wanted her to be the last. We stayed like that for minutes until I finally fell asleep. 

“Carlo! You’re gonna be late!” My sister woke me. 
“I’m up.” I mumbled. 

She babbled a lot before closing the door after her. I heard her, but wasn’t able to make anything out of it. 

I opened my eyes. I was facing the wall. The wall was facing me.

So I was right. She really didn’t love me anymore. She just couldn’t tell me. 

I spread my hand to reach the spot where she put hers. I wanted to feel her warmth again.   

It’s been forty-three days.

She really did leave a mark.

She really did leave…

 

Merry Christmas!

and a happy new year, too, guys. 😀

That’s all I could ever say.

I hope you guys are good with your family. It’s the best time of the year to spend it with them.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 25, 2010 in You! Read this!

 

Picture this…

You are constantly in touch with this person.

You start to develop feelings, mutual, fortunately.

So you decide to go through with it. I mean, with the relationship.

And so far, you’ve been dating for just a little over a month.

Now here’s the catch.

He is a couple of years younger than you.

And a number of inches shorter.

You’re a burger bun, and he’s hotdog. (Try to imagine this figure.)

He’s not as smart as you are.

His family is a mess. (but he was honest enough to tell you his story)

And you’ve only met once.

Now you are starting to think that he’s slowly fading away. He seemed to have lost interest, his desire, his warmth.

Until recently, he said that he had been having a little problem, thus hindering him from contacting you.

So, what should you do?

 
10 Comments

Posted by on December 20, 2010 in You! Read this!

 

Count me in the Meme!

So, here are my answers to the ten questions Tom Baker prepared for us. I don’t know how many of you will be able to read it but, I had fun trying to dig deep into my consciousness to come up with my most honest answers.

1. If you could interview anyone on your blog (alive or dead) who would you chose and why?
Well, I would most probably opt to interview God. I don’t know if that’s a valid response but of the many persons (if God is a person) I could think of, He’s the only one who can answer every single question I have. We know that His answers to our questions and prayers are not direct, but if an interview with Him would mean I can definitely have a concrete answer, I would never forget it, and I’d post an entry to be sure that I don’t forget it.

2. What do you feel is your strength as a blogger?
I think that my greatest strength as a blogger is that I am able to communicate not only the events that happened in my life but the emotions, the feelings that are embedded in my writing. In other words, my strength lies on the fact that I write to express and not to impress.

3. Can you share a little bit about yourself that you have not already mentioned on your blog?
I am a very insecure person. I think that many people think that I am ugly, fat and stupid. 😐 For years I have looked at myself very lowly and still I am hoping that someone will learn to love me despite my flaws.

4. If you were forced to change the name of your blog, what would you change it to? Why?
Hmm. I’d probably rename it to NEVER FORGET. While FRAUDULENT MIND reminds me to NEVER INVEST IN MY EMOTIONS, NEVER FORGET will remind me to never forget my Faith, Obligations, Relationships, Goals, Emotions and the Tale of my life.

5. What do you think is the most fulfilling part of being a blogger?
It’s the feeling of being able to touch others’ hearts and become an inspiration and maybe even a role model after just being honest when writing.

6. What would you do with your last day if you found you had only one more day to live?

I would try to tell to as many people as I can that I love them and I thank them for being a part of my life.

7. You’ve been doing medical research for decades and have finally found a cure. What was it that you found a cure for and why did you choose this particular ailment?
Diabetes. Because my dad has it.

8. What is your most guilty pleasure?
Text messaging. HAHA. Sorry, that’s the only thing I could think of. I am such a boring person. :))

9. Answer only one. What is your favorite book, movie or TV show?
My favorite TV show as of now is The Walking Dead. It kills me to wait every week. >.<

10. What do you think is the very best smell in the world? The one smell that can take you back to a time and place of a very vivid memory in your past?
The smell of cargo. I don't exactly know what it is that makes it smell that way, but it's the only smell there is that I never forget (aside from food aroma) because it reminds me of the times when a family member comes home (Philippines) and spends a short while with us.

 
30 Comments

Posted by on December 12, 2010 in You! Read this!