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BREAKing News

11 Jul

And it is quite odd to write again… But just this once maybe I will… And I’m pretty sure it’d be a blur.

I won’t start at the very beginning. That’d just cut out the fun in trying to figure out what happened. 

In fact there is no beginning here… Only an ending. 

Yep, ending. 

I don’t remember much anyway, save for his undying infidelity. After that, everything else was like just fleeting pieces of confetti that started out to be a whole sheet of metallic paper and ended up to be free-falling fragments waiting for the wind to take them. 

Don’t relationships start out like that?

A whole sheet of metallic paper…
unscathed
unfolded
unblemished

Yes, it was how it started. Of course I was just testing you then and you gave in. But it wasn’t me to just let you fall and leave you hanging. I wouldn’t deny that I fell myself. 

But soon enough you started crumpling and cutting OUR sheet. Technically, asking for some girl’s number isn’t really disloyalty but I confronted you anyway. Yeah yeah it passed alright, but your scheming acts did not. Soon after you were all geared up and back to your little games but I’m not one to buy your BS excuses again. I’ve grown tired and numb to it that I think I’ve outsmarted myself from thinking that forgiveness can patch things up.

And I’ve proven that love alone can not rebuild trust and that I’m smart enough to evaluate whether a relationship is healthy or not.  

Before I knew it we were confetti… falling farther and farther apart with each wind blow. 

I can’t really tell whether I feel bad that once again I got myself into a useless relationship or that I feel better that now I’m finally out of it. 

But I’d like to believe that falling confetti is a symbol of a remarkable feat. 

 
11 Comments

Posted by on July 11, 2011 in Healing Oneself

 

11 responses to “BREAKing News

  1. pusagandanglahi

    August 2, 2011 at 7:43 am

    well, feeling nothing doesn’t make you strong. it makes you numb, and it makes things go crazy. even that past relationship of yours.

     
    • Carizza

      August 2, 2011 at 8:44 pm

      that’s what i fear, that i may not be able to love again because i have grown indifferent to these feelings.

       
  2. Yvarro

    July 31, 2011 at 6:33 am

    weird, and happy ng feeling ko sa word na confetti…😀 pero i’m sad about the breaking news…

    pero tulad nga ng sinabi ni lady gaga: once you kill a cow, you better make a burger…

    kailangan may mangyaring maganda out of that circumstance ..:-D

    chiii!!!

     
    • Carizza

      August 1, 2011 at 8:25 pm

      yvarro, actually hati. masaya na din nga ako na tapos na paghihirap ko. :))

      sa tingin ko ayaw ko na bumalik sa pagiging tanga.🙂

       
  3. pusagandanglahi

    July 31, 2011 at 12:28 am

    “love alone can not rebuild trust”
    bulls eye.

    such powerful words to describe a falling relationship. you really must be that strong. but never consider crying as an option, because it really is a part of it. the more you hold back your tears, the more it hurts. and since pain is to blame for all those tears, you must let it out once and for all. a friend’s tear for your loss is comforting. but your tears alone heals… and helps you move on.🙂

     
    • Carizza

      August 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      hello there, agatha. i take it that is your name.

      thank you for dropping by. and thank you for your unfitting words (because i feel unworthy of being labeled THAT strong).

      and thank you for your concern.🙂

      i do not exactly know how to respond to your comments. since i myself am unsure why my tears refuse to fall.

      maybe i’ve grown tired, and empty. i cannot feel anything anymore.

       
  4. Tom Baker

    July 24, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    I hope you are doing okay Carizza. I know things will work out for you. Things have a way of working out even when it appears that there is no daylight ahead.

    If you send me another poem I will be happy to add it. Take care and please keep blogging!!

     
  5. purplebrightsummer

    July 14, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    I can’t really tell whether I feel bad that once again I got myself into a useless relationship or that I feel better that now I’m finally out of it.

    – I used to feel the same way, I know you’ll be fine soon.🙂

     
    • Carizza

      July 15, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      Oh I am fine. I am only confused of what I SHOULD feel.

       
      • purplebrightsummer

        July 15, 2011 at 6:23 pm

        I guess its a part of the process.
        Though you look strong girl. Be positive.😀

         
      • Carizza

        July 17, 2011 at 7:54 am

        LIke they say, and I believe, what can’t kill you only makes you stronger. And each scar heals overtime.🙂

         

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