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This is so not ranting.

22 May

A couple of months ago, this person, who is now committed, told me that he never loved me during our two-year relationship some four years ago. He even said that I was too gullible to believe the things he said, and that it was too easy to make a fool of me. He wanted me to believe that I was no good but a past time to him. I did not say a word. BUT, he wanted me to still be friends with his girlfriend. We didn’t talk after that.

This afternoon, he added me in FB, though it was evident that I deleted him from my friends list the moment we stopped being friends.

How can it be that he’s trying to reconnect with me now?

Then, this other person, who is also now committed, was able to talk to me again after we broke up seven months ago. Details, I will no longer share, because my first posts here were all about him.

I was actually dumb-founded when I realized it was really him I was talking to. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a 50-meter dash. I told my friend in YM that we should leave, because I could not take the feeling of helplessness anymore. He said that I should talk to him. So I did. It was so awkward…. and so hard for me to pretend that I don’t care.

A week after we broke up, we were still talking to each other, and obviously still in love, but barely being friends. He was already with someone else. Days after, I saw his pictures with his new girl. And I went mad, closing my YM ID, my FS, and my FB. I threw away the number we bought together. I went out of sight, out of word.

And now he started reminiscing of our times together, the stuffed toy, his sister, his room full of my handwritings. The point is, he says he misses me, he’s sorry, he wants to date me….

But he’s married… to a girl who’s carrying his child on her womb.

It broke my heart.

 

38 responses to “This is so not ranting.

  1. yuuki-chan

    June 13, 2010 at 10:01 am

    Guys like those deserve the boiling oil treatment. Kudos to you for actually being able to break away from them no matter how much you were hurting.
    I have an experience similar to yours with the second guy. Don’t fall, my dear. It’s only heartbreak at the end of the road.
    I think you already know what’s best for you.🙂

    On another note, hello fellow Las Piñero!

     
    • Carizza

      June 14, 2010 at 9:46 am

      Huwow! A Las Piñera again! I wish we had some kind of dialect to talk with each other in. But anyway, thanks for finding me.😀

       
  2. Karren Renz Seña

    June 1, 2010 at 1:00 am

    Ito pala yung pinagusapan natin noon.

    Shet naman.

    Minsan talaga ang sarap hantingin ng mga lintek na lalakeng yan tapos ipakain sa baboy-damo. Hindi naman ako galit, no. Te, wala akong masasabing makakahilom ng sugat mo, pero kung kaya mo, hangga’t maaari, damputin mo ang pirapirasong butil ng puso mo’t buuhin nalang ulit, katulong ang panahon.

    Makakaahon ka din dyan.

     
    • Carizza

      June 1, 2010 at 6:12 pm

      Teh, wag ka naman ganyan. Nae-emo ako haha.

       
  3. raspberryreich

    May 28, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    Mga lalake nga naman talaga oh, haha. Parang alam ko e noh at parang di rin ako lalake e noh?

    But even I wouldn’t want to be on your place, remembering things that you’ve tried so hard to forget and feeling envious that they already have someone else. Hopefully, you don’t miss them that much, right?

    Weird, about to have a kid and being married, he still wants to date you. Show him, woman, that you won’t be fooled again and that you’re not hopelessly in love with him anymore. SNAP! Wahehehe.

     
    • Carizza

      May 29, 2010 at 10:01 am

      HAHA.

      I think they’re the ones in the harder situations.

      I don’t have problems with them, it’s not like I’m torn between two lovers or what. I just think, that they’re dealing with more stress, because even if they have someone else, they can’t get me off their minds.

      HAHA, charot! :))

       
  4. eloiski

    May 28, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    ate carizza. seryoso?
    kung seryoso man. ewan ko di ko alam sasabihin ko.
    naguguluhan ako. promise.

    anakngtokwa. buti hindi ikaw yung chikababes na nabuntis. grabe. garbe. ang adik nung lalaki. pero nakokompyus pa rin ako. ewan ko kung bakit.

    naguguluhan ako sa poste mo eh. hakhak!

     
    • Carizza

      May 29, 2010 at 9:55 am

      HAHAHA, magulo ba kwento ko? Sige, san ka ba naguguluhan? Klaruhin natin.😀

       
      • eloiski

        May 29, 2010 at 11:33 am

        lahat eh. english kasi. wahahaha.
        joke lang, intindihin ko ulit. kasi kasi kasi. basta ganun. wahahaha!

         
      • Carizza

        May 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm

        HAHA. Sayo ako naguguluhan engr. e. :))

         
  5. Ravy

    May 28, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    May mga taong sadyang nakalaan para sa iba…

    Pero ngumiti ka na, carizza….

    May darating din na nakalaan para sa iyo…

     
    • Carizza

      May 31, 2010 at 9:03 am

      At dahil dun, napunta sa spam ang comment mo. Nakakahiya tuloy. Pasensya na.

      Salamat yvarro.🙂

       
  6. Len

    May 28, 2010 at 12:16 am

    ouch! be thankful nalang na hindi ikaw nabuntis niya! hays!🙂

     
    • Carizza

      May 28, 2010 at 11:37 am

      I am!😀

      Happy naman din ako for him. Or maybe, wala lang talaga akong nararamdaman. HAHA.

       
  7. kaye

    May 27, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Ouch…i don’t know what business these guys have doing those to you. sorry, but they, especially the latter guy, obviously have a bad case of loving themselves too much. what do you call that? narcissism? What gave them the idea that they are God’s gifts to women?

    this guy and the girl he knocked up deserve each other. don’t be a party to their misery. be happy so much is ahead of you and you don’t need these two guys to realize your worth,

    hehehe di naman ako galit niyan ano?

     
    • Carizza

      May 28, 2010 at 11:45 am

      Naloka ako miss kaye. HAHA. Parang kinabahan din ako na baka ako pinapagalitan mo. HAHA.

      Naalala ko tuloy yung friend ko na nagka-crush sa kanya bago naging kami, (yung latter guy) nakausap ko rin siya that same day.

      Sabi niya, “Gago tong si —, kala mo kung sino kung magmalinis, siya rin pala tong madumi.”

      Seems that kase, he was actually talking to everyone about my “lack” of things as the reason why we broke up.

      And, it seems that, what I “lacked” was this intimacy, which he has “rightfully” found in his new found wife.

      That’s that. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I actually feel good I didn’t take on his demands.

       
      • kaye

        May 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

        yun! yun lang pala ang hinahanap ng lekat. it’s good you didn’t give in to his demands. nobody has the right to force you into doing what you don’t want to.

        sarap kutusan ng lokong yon ah.

        hehe sorry naman kung kala mo e nipapagalitan kita. hindi ah. contrary to that, i salute you for not compromising your principles.🙂

         
      • Carizza

        May 29, 2010 at 9:54 am

        Ano naman yung lekat? HAHA.

        Forcing me to do that calls for rape, and if it did happen, I will not hesitate to file a case.

        There’s no compromise for principles miss kaye. Kaya lang, it does not apply to all people.

         
  8. kayedee

    May 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    awtz! bkt puro commited? hmmmm.. dunno wat 2 say..

    hi nlang carizza en jaz believed in him(god)… mahahanp mo din ang para sayo🙂 at sakin na rin! ehehhe..

     
    • Carizza

      May 28, 2010 at 11:36 am

      Hi kayedee! Salamat sa pagpunta mo dito, babasahin ko yung post mo. Hehe.

       
  9. sows

    May 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    Hmm, sana kinantahan mong,
    “quit playing games with my heart..with my heart…with my heart”

    hehe.
    aga aga nagdadrama ka jan. alam mo te, kung mahal ka talaga nun, he wouldn’t dare taste someone else’s menu. Lust? huh? forget him. u deserve better that than eyhowl. someone like, Ax!😆

     
    • Carizza

      May 28, 2010 at 11:36 am

      HAHA, ganon talaga siguro men. Wala na kasi sa itsura ng tao kung magloloko or kung may tinatagong kalibugan. HAHA.

      Siguro lang, wala siyang mahita sakin na sexual moments, kaya sa iba siya naghanap. HAHA.

      Ano naman kinalaman ni Ax dito? HAHA. Pero crush ko yun… dati. HAHA. :))

       
  10. yiN

    May 25, 2010 at 9:00 am

    Is he that same guy in that story i ssooo liked?

     
    • Carizza

      May 26, 2010 at 10:20 am

      Yung first guy, oo. Yung ex ko some four years ago, yung dahilan kung bakit meron akong category na Vague posts. HAHA.

      Syempre yung story hindi totoo diba. HAHA.

      Pero yung feelings na na-embed dun, genuine yun. Hehe.

       
  11. maelfatalis is in the sky with diamonds

    May 25, 2010 at 8:44 am

    Aray babe. Dapat nga matuwa ka na naghiwalay kayo. Gugustuhin mo bang buntis ka na ngayon?

     
    • Carizza

      May 26, 2010 at 10:17 am

      HAHA. Hindi no, tingin ko gusto rin nung girl kase kung ayaw niya talaga, aayaw siya diba? Parang ang gulo. HAHA.

      Saken lang, ayoko pa pumasok sa mga sexual encounters kase nga takot ako mabuntis. Hindi pa ko ready maging mommy, tignan mo nga baby mo pa ko o. AHAHA.😀

      Pero, somehow I feel responsible kasi nung naghiwalay kami, ang sabi ko, “Sana MAGBUNGA ang pagsasama niyo.”

      X(

       
  12. aperockstar

    May 25, 2010 at 1:33 am

    you know what I hate the most? Cheaters.

    …and both those dudes are cheating on their current at this point. these people offer nothing but trouble and more heartaches, Carizza.

    sorry, just wanna speak my mind. ang dami kasi feeling gwapo hindi makuntento sa isa.

     
    • Carizza

      May 26, 2010 at 10:16 am

      HAHAH!

      Thanks, ape. I needed that. Some view of negativity.

      Kesa mag-self pity ako diba. HAHA.

      Tama ka dyan! LABET!

       
  13. cofiboi

    May 24, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    okay, this would be the second blog i’ve visited today that made me say: “darn it, i thought i had monopolized the sphere of weird/awkward encounters with exes”

    glad to see i’m not alone (sorry if this sounds bad).

    isa lang masasabi ko: “sigh”

     
    • Carizza

      May 24, 2010 at 6:03 pm

      I think what I have right now is just the “gulat” factor.

      It’s probably gone by tomorrow.

      Hopefully.

       
  14. suckingbird+art

    May 24, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    it is actually stupid of us to stay in the confines of our love and past recall. Honestly, I hate to reading posts like this because I can really relate to the feelings. HAHA. One thing I think you need to do is alamin mo kung ano ba tlga ung point of this remembering.. mahirap.. i actually moved to another place just to forget and so far the uncontrollable moving helped a lot🙂

     
    • Carizza

      May 24, 2010 at 5:34 pm

      HAHA. Yeah. Come to think of it, I made this. I opened my YM and poof! It became koko krunch. Pft.

      But, since I was able to take care of my self for seven months without this feeling of selflessness, I believe the next terms of my life would be easier. I just have to forget him. AGAIN.

       
  15. slaveboi

    May 24, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Seriously.

    You misled me.

    I thought you were such an innocent girl.

    And I read this.

    You player, you!

     
    • Carizza

      May 24, 2010 at 5:32 pm

      Seriously, I am not.

      The first boy was my first boyfriend. We broke up four years ago. Because of a girl.

      The other, was my most recent heartbreak, as you know, seven months ago. Same reason.

      You stalkee, you!

       
      • slaveboi

        May 26, 2010 at 3:48 pm

        Hmm.

        I am not convinced, still.

        In my mind, I have branded you a player.

        LOL.

        I’m kidding. I miss you, though.

         
      • Carizza

        May 26, 2010 at 5:52 pm

        You’re just jealous that someone else is stalking me.

        HAHA. Kidding. IMY too. You’ve been gone too long!

         
  16. Sphere

    May 23, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    my 1st time here and sobrang ramdam ko na hurting ka nga😦

    Remember hindi sya worth para isipin mo keep it up and be happy ok🙂

     
    • Carizza

      May 24, 2010 at 9:57 am

      Thank you for spending time to be here, sphere.

      It doesn’t hurt as much as it did seven months ago.

      Ironically, I’m actually happy for him…. but yes, it still hurts me… no matter how little the pain is.

       

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