What I Would Have Written Exactly Eight Years Ago

Dear Self,

Self,

Okay. Dear Self,

I was hesitant to put the greeting because I may not consider you dear in the future. But today, I’m guessing I think you still are.
In a few weeks, you’ll graduate as the Salutatorian of your grade school. Never mind the conduct award though. You lost a silver medal because of your incapacity to defend yourself against those who think you wrong.
So anyway, here’s some advice as to how to prevent your sporadic state of regret and self-pity eight years from now.

ONE: Watch what you eat.
Otherwise you will gain 20 pounds each year from hereon. By 2010 you might want to sell your soul to the devil to cut off half your size.

TWO: Avoid your disguised friends.
In two years you’d wish you were never friends. Instead, be with those you would be friends with after your disguised friends have wronged you… again.

THREE: Take table tennis seriously.
It’s the only sport you’d think of engaging in, so excel in it even if your championship was accidental, and by default.

FOUR: Take hot tea in the morning.
It’s good for losing weight via thermogenesis. Coffee is bad. It’ll be too addictive especially when you discover Starbucks.

FIVE: Eat fruits.
Veggies are not your thing. So eat fruits – lots of them. It’s a better alternative for sweets and snacks, and it will promote healthy skin. But, I suggest demand you eat carrots and squash if you don’t want to wear glasses in the future.

SIX: Do not be blinded by hair treatments if you want to keep your current hair thickness.
Besides, if you follow the first 5, you won’t so have to maintain very long hair just to cover your flabs and bulges.

SEVEN: Keep valuables.
In six months’ time, you’ll be 13 and your mom will be slipping a yellow piece of paper into your bag. You will open it, read it, and cry during the flag ceremony. Keep the letter before you wonder for years where it went. It may also be a testimony against your view of her in 2010.

EIGHT: Study and learn every single day.
Don’t you get tired of being second all the time? Why settle for silver when you can go for gold, if you wanted it so bad? I know that if only you be more diligent, you can be the top of your class, not just next to someone. Who knows, you may invent a social networking site and call it Friendbook, and develop an online journal that will be known as brog, and you will earn millions every year.

NINE: Do not take engineering courses in college.
That would be your downfall. Math is your forte, but analysis is your Waterloo. But if you reconsider going to a science high school, this may not be too difficult. But I think Business Administration is where you fit best because you like the office environment and your high school offers many programs that can help you hone office knowledge. Although you may still want to become an actress, I know. :p

TEN: Pray all the time.
He is what you will always need and turn to. You will ask Him help and blessings. If you hold on to your faith, and enrich it, everything will be great. With Him, you can go miles and find self-fulfillment.

Yours truly,
You

*PS:
I wish I could’ve sent this to you eight years ago.