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Word Count: 1918

06 Mar

Okay, this will be too selfish and too childish. But anyways, I have to let out everything.

First things first. I’m hungry. As in nagugutom ako. But the thing is ayaw kong kumain. Not like I’m stopping myself. Pero nawalan ako ng gana. Hindi naman din sa ayaw kong kumain ng ginisang salmon. Pero nakakainis kasi.

I know I was so excited at first to see my mom and my brother back. But I see now that there are many reasons to want them to be away again. If not, I could be the one to be off but what the hell, I don’t have anywhere to go.

Okay what exactly is it that I’m talking about? A lot. Since my brother got here, I never got the chance to use the computer. Tangina. Pati laptop ko hindi ko na nahawakan. AND, the more irritating part is, my mom ALWAYS has to take HIS side. I’m not exaggerating but to let you guys get the gist of this, my brother is my mom’s favorite. And the eldest is my dad’s. You don’t say that parents have no favorites. That’s just one of their bullshit. They said it themselves – straight from the horses’ mouths. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad and there’s no chance I’d exchange him for someone else. And my mom? What does she care? I am not important to her at all. And don’t try to tell me otherwise. Because there’s no way you can make me change my mind.

So, anong kinalaman ng ginisang salmon?

I will get there. Just wait.

So they’ve been here for five days and for five fuckin’ days they’ve been ruining my life. I don’t understand. Did it use to be like this before she went to Dubai? I don’t think so. Money talks, I figured, it does.

Anyway, so for five fuckin’ days, oh before I go on, I might just say that if you do not like to be bombarded with all this shitload, you can navigate away from here.

So, again, for five fuckin’ days I have been reprimanded over and over again for what? For my brother’s fuckin’ deeds. I don’t even get the chance to defend myself because the moment I try to open my mouth and say something, she just blurts out “Wag kang makasagot-sagot dyan ha.” It’s just soooooooooooo tangina, for the lack of a better worse term.

And then, last night, I asked a favor of being fetched from school because today is a Saturday and fares are not discounted. She said yes. Hurray she said yes. BUT, early this morning, she asked me to take her to the hospital which I did, even though I was hurrying for an exam. I told her that we need to be off at 12:30. At tangina, ala-una na wala pa siya. So, I just dressed up and hurried for an exam that I would be taking an hour late without any allowance. Tapos nag-text siya na si kuya at tita na lang daw ang sumama which is impossible because they were not informed. Anyway when she sent that I was already at Baclaran. Screw that.

Then, after my exam she asked what time I’d leave school. I thought she was going to pick me up. So I asked bakit. She didn’t reply. Oh-kay, there goes another disappointment. Then kahapon din pala, they went out WITHOUT me, and asking me what I want for take home so I did tell her. And they went home, bringing me nothing. If this were baseball she’d be out.

Tapos si ginisang salmon.🙂

At 8:30 pm today, I got home tired, with mega headache and overly hungry. Tapos yun nga, ang dinatnan ko ay isang tasa ng malamig na kanin at siguro may 3 subo ng salmon.

Nawalan ako ng gana.

It’s selfish and well, mababaw I know, but this really is breaking my heart. If I had anywhere else to go, I swear I wouldn’t choose to be here. Anyway, pinalayas naman nila ako sa kwarto ko so that my brother could sleep on my bed.🙂

Oh, and I’m not done yet.

Since Wednesday I’ve been down and one of my classmates actually noticed. Wow, that’s a first.

I wished I were doing something somewhere else.

That is, she said, the reason why I was depressed.

I thought about it for a few seconds but my mind was simply blocking it off. I do not (think that I) agree.

I (think I) wished that everything was…different.

I could’ve used the word “better” but I thought that “better” is not something you wish for – it’s something you do.

Now, why exactly was I depressed?

Academics.

Alas! I’m not ranting because of some guy! But wait, come to think of it, academics is a worse heart breaker, next to this dysfunctional family. A failed relationship can upset me for three months but a failed career has been taking ground in me for four continuing years.

Early Thursday I received the result of a recent major exam. I got 9 more than my age on a 100-point system. I think I felt the ground shake, or maybe I just thought it did because it was my knees that were shaking. Many others are smiling. O sige kayo na ang magaling, kayo na ang 80 and above. I on the other hand seemed to freeze amid the 35-degree temperature on the Celsius scale. I wasn’t talking. I wasn’t thinking either. I just felt dumb.-founded. In the middle of my nothingness, I ripped off a leaf from my notebook and wrote.

Dear Benj,
Today I am very depressed. I feel that I am a failure as a ChE student. I have lost my drive to pursue this career.
– Nothing follows.

Then I handed it to my gay seatmate. Then just a little while later, the piece of paper was returned to me.

Dear Benj,
Today I am very depressed. I feel that I am a failure as a ChE student. I have lost my drive to pursue this career.
– Nothing follows.

I am about to break down into tears. Delay is not an option for me but here it is snapping at my heels.
I just think of my other subjects which still have good chances of passing. We just have to do what we can, with what we still have, where we are. I’ve failed too many times, I feel already blunted and numb to it.
And I too have lost my drive – I’ve almost forgotten how to dream.

I have not been talking since this morning because I fear that the moment someone tries to talk me out, I WILL CRY. And crying, I’m sorry to say, will only then even more lower my self-esteem. I have been delayed for a year now, and even though failure in this subject will not delay me further, it will imbibe in me the impression that I DO NOT BELONG HERE – in this department – in this INSTITUTION. It makes me feel less as a person. Up to this point I ask myself, WHY AM I HERE, I DO NOT BELONG HERE, WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME?

Lately I found myself thinking that maybe I’d be better off somewhere else.
But hey, grades are not everything. (Wait, I have to tell myself that too.)

I said I’d keep that conversation, but just now I tossed the paper over to the trash bin.

About 20 hours after our note-passing, I sent him a text message.

    Benj,
    Morning. I find no good in my morning anymore. I’m not trying to burden you but somehow, I felt the best person I could talk it with is you. Thank you for absorbing my ranting.
    Carz
    There are times when I’ve felt the same way too. Whenever I feel that, I pray the serenity prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” And btw, there’s no problem telling me about your downs. Sorrow shared is sorrow halved, my friend xoxo.
    But I feel worse that I need to pray. It’s not in God’s hands for me to get past this. I feel bad that I have to trouble Him to ask that He save me from the troubles I have bestowed upon myself. Why am I here? I have no purpose here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be as perplexed as I am in the last four years of my young life.
    I also see little hope for myself in the walls of Melchor Hall. Everything happens for a reason and often, we don’t discover the reasons until years have passed. Have you talked to your parents about this?
    Yes, I talk to them about this every sem. Though they are open about me leaving this department, I still feel that my prison is this university. The name that I have been branded with.
    Are you alright Carz? It’s great that your parents are open to a change of course but it seems your concern goes deeper than acads.
    I do not belong here, Benj. This place does not feel home to me.
    Your home itself?

By this time I already felt that we do not synchronize.

    I feel that if I stay here longer, I will lose my sanity.
    Have you talked this over with your parents? They sure know what to do and want only the best for you. Tell them what you’re telling me. They can help you more than I can.

And at this point, I figured that he wasn’t the best person I could talk it with. So I still sent one more message.

    Thanks.
    Keep me posted Carz. If ever you need me again, I’ll be there. xoxo

But for what cause? For what purpose? I appreciate him trying to give me some piece of his cliche advice, but that’s not what I need. I need someone who understands me. That was all. But I guess I cannot be understood. Maybe I’ve lost my wits. Am I still sane? This university has become a “mental institution” – too mentally competitive that I feel that I will be driven to my limits and lose myself in the sea of my depression brought about by large scale failures. I have never felt so low about myself during the first fifteen years of my life.

I do not need advices, I need testimonials of people who shared the same experiences to let me know that I am still normal, that I am not losing my mind. But where do I find them here in a subdivision-wide campus that homes great minds? I do not need people who will tell me to talk with my parents because my parents cannot help me. What do they know about what I’m going through, they never went to college? What do they know about what I’m going through, they didn’t send my brothers to the same school? What do they know about what I’m going through, they don’t care about me?

I do not need advices, I already heard them a million times and none of them have helped me. I need someone who will listen to me and share with me similar sentiments. But then, naybe I cannot find that someone. Because in this university, I am the odd man out.

And after this, I wonder when I can sit down here and blog again.

 
52 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2010 in I'm Dead Serious.

 

52 responses to “Word Count: 1918

  1. Meeya

    March 12, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    “What amazes me about this entry is the striking similarities I see between your situation and mine. I’m an irregular student studying Nursing in a respectable university. From the perfect student to below average, all I can do is pass of my wanting to pursue my music as a joke to my parents. And hearing that music is meant to be ‘just a hobby’ hurts me when it’s the only thing that keeps me sane walking amongst academic zombies in my school. Their mouths say that “there’s no harm in trying,” but their eyes scream “become a nurse and make us proud!” I’m not even the eldest. Being the perfect student was the only way I was repaying my parents for everything. Now I’ve lost that, I don’t want to take back the deposit I’ve already made, staying in this course in this school is the only compensation I can think of.”

    What do you think after hearing my story? I don’t think what you need are testimonials from people with the same problems. What you need is to sit yourself down, cry, pick yourself up, then, If your mind has become clear…. DECIDE. I’ve made mine. I honestly think that someday I will regret it. but sometimes, your sacrifice means happiness to people you hold most dear. Good luck, and don’t for get to cry (hard)

    *really long, sorry!*

     
    • Carizza

      March 12, 2010 at 8:33 pm

      Wow, this is quite long but really somehow added pressure to me. Kidding. It made me feel… well, normal. Because when I posted this I was only thinking, “I feel less as a person.”

      Being the perfect student was the only way I was repaying my parents for everything.
      -This was exactly what I had built myself with for the past n years. And though the “perfect” part is now gone, still I decided that living up to my url name is what I can do best to at least try to repay my parents for everything.

      I know that it’s not the best decision I made for myself, but it’s the right decision I made for everyone else.

      I just hope that our struggles would pay off in the end.

       
      • meeyamia

        March 16, 2010 at 8:10 pm

        Amen to that.. Amen

         
      • Carizza

        March 18, 2010 at 7:23 pm

        Amen to which part? :))

         
  2. tsenn`

    March 9, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    use the tried and tested power of prayer :]

    nakakatuwa, andaming engr. at engineering students dito sa blogdome. astig. what year ka na? alam mo nafeel ko rin nung 3rd ako na hindi ako belong sa course ko. jack of zero trades. naisip ko pa magshift s isang makulay na course. kaso aun nga, napansin ko na lang na nasa last leg na ko ng game. hehe. kaya mo yan! baka kulang lang sa tamang drive and inspiration :]

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 9:08 pm

      Ello Tsenn! Ako rin nagugulat s dami ng inhinyero na mahilig magsulat. Akala ko ako lang ang nahilig magsulat dahil lahat ng classmates ko puro calculator lang ang kaligayahan.

      Two years pa ang bubunuin ko. Pero mabuti pa ng tapusin ko na muna to bago ako pumili ng isa pang kurso.

       
  3. maelfatalis is in the sky with diamonds

    March 9, 2010 at 3:26 am

    hay nako neng, hindi ko alam kung pang-ilan ka sa pamilya pero ako ang una hija slash middle child. Naniniwala ako na may middle child syndrome ako. Mahal ko rin ang tatay ko at galit na galit din ako sa nanay ko. Ngayon pareho ko na silang hindi mahal dahil ang tatay ko, nag-uwi ng babae sa bahay namin na sing edad ko. Pakiramdam ko tuloy lahat ng yakap niya sa akin noon e may halong malisya.

    Hnsi ko sasabihing normal lang ang nararamdaman natin, pero isa lang ang masasabi ko-UNFAIR ANG MUINDO. Hindi patas. Hindi makatarungan. Name it. Shout that shit Nakakainis na para bang pinagsakluban na tayo ng langit at lupa na ang mga taong nais nating bigyan tayo ng patas na pagtingin e hindi iyon binibigay satin.

    Wala akong mabibigay na advice sayo kundi ang subukan pa ring ayusin ang buhay mo. Nagpakadestruct ako. Isa ako ngayong dalagang ina at kailangan ko magtrabaho. Wag ka lang sanang magpakatang katulad ko up to that extent. After all, buhay pa rin natin to at pag sinira natin to, tayo pa rin ang magsisisi bandang huli.

    So enjoy the anger. Gamitin mo oang anger na yan to motivate you IN A GOOD WAY.

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 9:03 pm

      Wow. Maraming salamat. Hindi ko kakalimutan tong kwento mo. Gagamitin ko itong turo.

      Maraming salamat at inopen mo to sakin kahit hindi mo ako kilala.

      Salamat talaga. Regards pala sayo at sa anak mo. God bless.🙂

       
  4. duking

    March 9, 2010 at 2:37 am

    if ranting makes you feel better,then by all means…

    but please never dettach away from your family for this reasons.pwede kang magalit,magdabog,mag fasting,uminom ng sleeping feels,magtanan but you must first try to talk to them about this things na dumudurog sa buhay mo.

    they would probably understand you…they’ll sure do.

    you wouldn’t believe me,pero i know a boy who voluntarily accept the favoritism within the family.usually,dahil mahirap ang buhay nila,yun lang kapatid nya ang binibigyan ng baon cause back then,kapos sila sa pera at naniniwala ang nanay nila na mas mabuting yung kapatid na lang nya ang priority sa skul dahil mas matalino yun.he never dispair and instead,the rest is history.hahabaan ko sana yung kwento kaso nagmamadali ako.

    kung di mo sya kilala,sya ay walang iba kundi ang sikat na java man na nahukay sa indonesia noong panahon ng lumang bato.walang konek ‘di ba?

    i’m just trying to cheer you up…if i fail…just rant about it!nyahaha!!!

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 8:21 pm

      LOL. You got me. Akala ko true story. HAHA.

      Yun na nga, at least the favor is right diba dahil mas pabor sila dun sa matalino. E ako? What’s my incentive?

       
  5. Mr. Nonsense

    March 9, 2010 at 1:34 am

    wow ang haba…nalusaw ang mga muta ko itong umaga.
    di to advice: lasunin mo silang lahat!

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 8:20 pm

      Pwede bang ako na lang ang maglason? HAHA. Andami nila e. Ang mahal.

       
  6. yiN

    March 8, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    Ulitin ko sinabi ni slaveboi. Whew. Ang haaaba. Ganun talaga, nung paalis ermats mo umiyak ka, ngayong nandito bantrip ka. Nilalagyan ba ninyo ng kamatis yung ginisang sahmon? Ang naaalala ko na lang yata sa eng’g yung pythagorean theorem. Lol

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 8:14 pm

      E papanong hindi mababadtrip maya’t maya nakasigaw. Nakakaasar. Haha.

      Hindi ko na napansin kung anong laman ng ginisang salmon dahil pag-alis ko nung takip, tinakpan ko na agad. HAHA.

      Engg pa ba yun? Math lang yun e. HAHA.

       
  7. aperockstar

    March 8, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    Ok, nakaka-relate ako sayo somehow. Parang dumaan ako sa ganyan before, but dont worry, Im not about to give you advices. All i can say is – for now, you have no choice but to stay – but your education is your best ticket out.

    p.s.

    you’re not losin your mind. not yet I guess.🙂

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 8:13 pm

      YES! At long last! That was what I needed to hear! A confirmation of my correct thinking. Thank you!!!

       
      • aperockstar

        March 9, 2010 at 11:47 pm

        sabi nga nila, there are 2 ways to lose your mind:

        be too lax and not give a damn.

        be too sharp.

        pick your poison.

        lol.

         
      • Carizza

        March 10, 2010 at 8:08 pm

        I’m not too sharp. Maybe I’m too lax then. :))

         
  8. Ax

    March 8, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    Ay0wn oh.

    Nakakatak0t n0. Parang phr0ma lng.

    Phr0ma. Ph0bia + Trauma.

     
    • Carizza

      March 9, 2010 at 8:11 pm

      Nakakatakot in the sense na…. oooh, challenge. *like*

       
  9. Sows

    March 8, 2010 at 7:50 am

    ayows, mas sikat! hehe

    perstaym ko d2..😆

     
    • Carizza

      March 8, 2010 at 7:44 pm

      Welcome here!

      Mas sikat ka dahil ako unang dumalaw sa iyong malayong kaharian!!!

      Pwedeng maki-link?😀

       
      • sows

        March 11, 2010 at 8:14 am

        link link na! sa weekends na ko mag-aayos ng links ko @ blocked xa d2 sa ofis. awts.

        @mr nonsense, naman! istokwa ba ko? weh?! buti ka pa po alam mo ah. kakatawa lang c carizza ang umamin. ui, lab istori!😆

         
    • Mr. Nonsense

      March 9, 2010 at 1:31 am

      ingat ka kay sows…minamanmanan ka lang nyan…

       
      • Carizza

        March 9, 2010 at 8:15 pm

        Nakaw, ako po ang unang nagmanman sa kanya. HAHA. Joke.

         
      • Sows

        March 11, 2010 at 3:02 pm

        @cariza, cge lng, link lng!

        @nonsense, ayan, umamin n xang nauna! haha

         
  10. roccomocco

    March 7, 2010 at 11:39 am

    your glory days will come soon..just wait..

    kaya yan..dumalaw uli..like ur style of writing napakatotoo.

     
    • Carizza

      March 7, 2010 at 1:45 pm

      Agh, I hope it comes very soon. Salamat ulit sa pagdalaw. At malamang napakatotoo nyan dahil true story yan. Haha.

       
  11. slaveboi

    March 7, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Whew. That was long. I can feel your pain. Growing up as a middle child, I’ve always felt a bit underappreciated. You know, I acted out a lot. I did drugs, I smoked, drank, partied, got laid a lot. I even ran away from home twice.

    But I realized that no amount of attention grabbing is going to help. It certainly didn’t help me. So instead of letting my issues bother me, I directed them to better pursuits.

    I know you don’t want cliche advices and stuff like that. So, I’m telling you, just get over it. Get over it and live your life wihout letting them bother you. I know there’s a lot of hidden feelings there. I’m guessing what I’m saying won’t even cover it.

    Basta, try to find happiness and satisfaction with yourself. Don’t mind other people, parents, friends, or siblings. Maybe they’ll come around, maybe they won’t. But once you found peace with yourself, eh di ayos ka na and you won’t need them at all.😉

    Hang in there, missy.😉

     
    • Carizza

      March 7, 2010 at 1:50 pm

      It’a quite undeserved for me to be the one who’s treated this way, considering I’m the youngest and the only girl. Plus, I was the meritorious one in this family. But none of that matters, I guess.

      And, just now, my mom said if she had the choice, she wouldn’t go back here for us. How inspiring. ;))

      I already tried running away you know. Mahirap din kasing manahimik na lang at kimkimin lahat. But I couldn’t go far dahil hindi ko pa mabubuhay ang sarili ko.

      That’s why I can’t wait to graduate and get a job.

      I just hope I’m still sane enough to get there.

       
      • ODDBLOOD

        March 7, 2010 at 9:24 pm

        hmm..naranasan ko na din yan..sibling rivalry..pero nung tumanda na kami ng bro ko na sumunod sa akin, naging okei naman ang lahat..there’s no such thing talaga as equality when it come to importance given by parents to their children..😐

        newey, don’t let the present circumstances affect your future mindset and goals..just keep your eyes on the prize..darating ka din dun..konting tiis na lang.. ^_^

         
      • Carizza

        March 7, 2010 at 10:36 pm

        Actually ok naman na kami ng kuya ko. Sadyang may peboritism lang kaya nakakabanas.

         
      • slaveboi

        March 8, 2010 at 10:04 am

        Kaya nga just live your life the way you want to. Don’t let yourself be brought down by other people. I know it’s hard. Pero right now, that’s all you can do, kasi dependent ka pa rin sa parents mo. Grin and bear it na lang muna. And once you have the means to be independent, then kiss them all goodbye. Hehe.🙂

         
      • Carizza

        March 8, 2010 at 7:58 pm

        You’re exciting me. HAHA.

         
      • Mr. Nonsense

        March 9, 2010 at 1:33 am

        sinong tinutukoy dito?

         
      • Carizza

        March 9, 2010 at 8:19 pm

        Ako yan at yung kaklase kong bading. HAHA.

         
      • ODDBLOOD

        March 9, 2010 at 9:53 pm

        and one thing more..sabi nga ng Nike “Just do it,” ewan..favorite ko talaga tong line na toh..siguro di nila lagi makikita ang mga magagandang bagay na nagagawa mo but remember that there is one Audience that always sees you..and you matter to Him.

         
      • Carizza

        March 9, 2010 at 10:01 pm

        Wa. When I remember “just do it” palagi kong naiisip yung quote na may guy na nagdedecide kung magsusuicide ba xa and when he asked for a sign ang nakita niy ung billboard ng nike na just do it. Haha. Minsan tuloy pag suicidal mode ako naiisip ko un.

         
  12. dlysen

    March 7, 2010 at 4:36 am

    medyo hindi ako nakasunod, pen pal ba eto?
    Wag ka malungkot, baka malungkot din kami. Pero ok lang malaman namin kung sakaling my mabigat kang dinadala, maaaring mapagaan namin ang nararamdaman mo nang di sinasadya. I already lost in my past. It feels like you nothing. Find a way to value yourself and the things who give loves to you.

     
    • Carizza

      March 7, 2010 at 1:52 pm

      Haha. Di po. Classmate ko yun si Benj. Sorry magulo kasi utak ko nyan sa galit kaya magulo na rin ata ung kwento ko. Salamat pala sa pagdaan mo dito.🙂 Natutuwa ako.

       
  13. Ax

    March 7, 2010 at 2:30 am

    Howah. Ang haba ng post ha. Kailangan ko pang magskip ng ibang routinary electronic-to-do-list para basahin.

    Anyways, ipagpatuloy mo lang ang pagiging chem eng eng na yan! Pag nakagawa ka ng pormula para maging isang superhero ang tao, ipainom/ibigay/ipakain/ipahid mo sa akin.

    Gusto ko yung medyo maganda gandang abilidad at wag yung kaya makaamoy ng droga sa 40 meters wide range. Wag ganon.

    Okay ba yown?

     
    • Carizza

      March 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm

      Hi Ax. Pasensya na mahaba. Kaya nga ung title ko ung word count dahil ito na so far ang pinakamahaba kong pagsusumbong. Haha.

      Ikaw na lang ang gagawin kong droga. Kaso ano kayang epekto mo?

       
      • aksoriyalmo

        March 8, 2010 at 1:53 am

        Pag ako naging droga, hallucinative ang dating ko.

        Yung mga single, akala nila in a relationship sila sa unang opposite sex na makikita nila.

        Nakakatakot. Aw.

         
      • Carizza

        March 8, 2010 at 7:43 pm

        YAY! E pano kung kapatid nila yun??? OMG. Nakakatakot nga. Parang ipis. :))

         
      • Mr. Nonsense

        March 9, 2010 at 1:32 am

        nakakakilig kayong dalawa rito. uy ax, tingin sa taas^

         
      • Carizza

        March 9, 2010 at 8:19 pm

        Eh? Sino naman ang nakakakilig jan?

         
  14. hastydevil

    March 6, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    go lang, rant lang. let it all out. im in my ranting phase as well.

     
    • Carizza

      March 7, 2010 at 2:02 pm

      Ano palang site mo? Share mo naman para makapag-getting to know each other tayong drama.🙂

       
  15. eloiski

    March 6, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    grabe. ewan ko lang ah pero i love reading rants (sorry nemen). at dahil dyan, pwede ba kitang iadd sa aking blogroll.
    engineering ka rin pala. apir tayo dyan!

    *pansin ko din may mga peborits peborits eh kaso hindi naman ganun kagrabe sa amin. yung sayo parang mapapamura ako sa kabwisitan ah.

    *advices? hindi ko rin masyado kelangan nyan. ang kelangan ko lang talaga listener! hakhak!

     
    • Carizza

      March 6, 2010 at 10:52 pm

      Ui salamat sa pagdaan mo dito. At dahil ikaw ang base, i-aadd din kita sa blog roll ko.

      Engg ako, engg-engg. :)) Yay.

      At heto, matutulog na ako sa lapag. Dahil may iba nang umangkin sa kama ko.

      Ako na lang listener mo.😀

       
      • eloiski

        March 6, 2010 at 11:24 pm

        sige sige. pero next time ko pa mauupdate blogroll ko. under construction kasi ang blog ko. hakhak! pero basta iaadd kita ‘te. hakhak!

        mabuhay tayong mga engg-engg. che ka pala. ako naman ece. easy eh! hakhak!

        che din sana ako kaso ayaw ako palipatin. eh di sige, ece na. lolololol!

        takte! sipain ko yang si brother na yan eh. kaasar! kalalakeng tao siya nasa kama. amp! dapat siya ang nasa lapag! grrr!

        ay sure! hakhak!

         
      • Carizza

        March 7, 2010 at 1:58 pm

        Ay ayaw ko Ng ece. Madali kasi akong ma-short circuit. Haha.

        Sosyal ka nga may sariling domain e. Kung kaya ko lang gusto ko rin. Kaso wala akong alam sa pag-maintain at pagtweak sa sites. Pwede na rin tong wp. Pang rant lang naman e. Haha

         

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