Just about an hour ago, I was singing this song in the shower. And I was singing it in a way that I (thought) would not sing it to anyone.
The first time I heard it over the radio, I knew it was a sad song just hearing the melody. The next time around, I understood that it was, indeed, a sad song.
For the nth time, I would still be blogging about love, and for the (n+1)th time, about how it hurts me, but I can never tell how much. I never knew the people who read my articles but it’s a shame that they MIGHT know me. But they have yet to know the inside of me. Eventually, more reading of this will help them to, if, of course, they do not succumb to the boredom from digesting this entire post.
Even as the writer, I am slowly becoming tired of writing about the same thing. Though I know that this serves as the outlet of my emotions, I never wanted to write only about the darkest sorrows that automatically sink themselves deep within. Too much emotions drive me to write, but I wish I could also write because of so much bliss.
Of course there is many to be happy about – the good life, the happy family, the opportunities I am able to make use of, and quite – no, a whole lot more. For these things, I am thankful. For these things, I am happy. But, though many they are, the human in me will still find discontent, and thus will always search for bliss.
I should say then, that up to this point, I have happiness, but have yet to find bliss.
The love I have embeds happiness, security, a feel of comfort and warmth. But, along with it comes jealousy, pain, anger and disappointment. We are not indifferent to such impediments, but, the stronger among us are able to minimize their effects. Sadly, though I wanted to be one of them, I am not. Not when I am fighting alone.
It must be given that a relationship involves two individuals that are joined by a single desire. Hopefully they keep that desire alive in order to preserve the relationship. There does not exist such that works uni-directionally. Couples must always bear in mind that they must work together. After all, whatever happens is just a result of the actions of both persons.
So when does a relationship fail? It fails when the persons involve start to act individually. That is, they are not anymore able to set aside their differences, and they focus more on feeding their ego, and they attend more to the strengthening of their pride. Shortly said, a relationship fails when either or both of the couple become selfish.
More often, there is at least one person who wants to save the relationship. It is rare but lucky to find one that is strong enough to not break amidst the hardest of the challenges. I made myself believe before that a relationship can survive as long as there is at least one who is so committed, he is able to save it. Unfortunately, that belief is about to turn around as I realize that in reality, no one can be strong enough an individual to be able to carry the burden that is meant for two.
I used to look up to myself as the sturdy one, the one who does not easily give up on a relationship, the one who is able to bend and compromise for the sake of keeping it. But I have always failed to anticipate my limits. Now the sturdy one is starting to break down.
Going back to the song I am writing about, I never thought I would one day be singing that song. Especially the following parts:
I want you to know that it doesn’t matter where we take this road. Someone’s got to go. I want you to know, I couldn’t have loved you better. But I want you to move on, so I’m already gone.
Bit by bit it sinks in me that one day I will find that the best way to love someone is to let them go.
I never thought that that one day will be today.