I started blogging because I needed to find an outlet for all these sentiments that I think are already becoming detrimental to my overall well-being. That explains why my early posts are cheesy and dark. Thankfully, those grungy days are over. I’m a better person now, so it’d be best to lighten up. So I’ll start by introducing myself.
I’m a third year student from UP Diliman, taking up Chemical Engineering. If you will notice, my URL is “forced engineer”. This is so because I never liked my program. I’ve been told to shift to another course, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because it requires much time and effort and because I really don’t know what course to shift into. Thus, I am forced to stay and pursue to become an engineer. Perhaps, it is the only way I can help my family, especially that a Chemical Engineer, they say, earns a lot of money.
Being a student of this community, this institution, the name and the prestige of this school is reflected in me. Somehow, when you are a UP student, you gain respect, as if you are better than the others. Also, they say that UP graduates receive better privileges and have higher chances of getting a job. Maybe this is what UP takes pride in, being bigger and better than the “others” – or in the simplest, shortest description, the best.
That is just outside UP. Inside maybe the students and faculty may talk about this university’s never-fading reputation, but not all the time. Of course not many of you know that there are many inside stories and issues here. We have been told of UP students being rebellious and activists, that culture still remains, but the upper class men claimed that the generation of fire-blooded students that used to house in this university is rapidly diminishing. And we, the new breed of scholars, have been branded by our older sisters and brothers in the academe to be apathetic, spoiled middle class.
Effective last year, freshmen’s tuition increased by an overwhelming 333% from 300 to 1000 pesos per unit. That means that if I compare my semestral fee to a student of number 07-*****, my 18-unit academic load would amount to P5,400 and his, P18,000. Because of this, students from public high schools and rural or urban poor areas have limited chances of enrolling, even after passing UPCAT. So it’s not a surprise to see parking areas around campus being crowded and an increasing number of “coños” everywhere. The dormitories supposedly should be giving priority to the poor students who are far away from home, but the stats are saying otherwise. There are sons and daughters of millionaires occupying spaces that should’ve been for those who greatly need them.
Being the youngest and the only girl among three children, I will not deny the fact that I am a spoiled, daddy’s girl. Almost always and instantly I can get what I want. My brothers used to envy me, but I pride at getting all that I have as incentives, no, rewards for having a competitive scholastic record (never mind college though). My father never reprimanded or raised his voice at me unlike my mom who does that all the time but never got to win an argument with me. I was like the angel to my dad, and a black sheep to my mom.
Responses to the comment in the girls’ washroom in the second floor of the Palma Hall were soon vandalized all over a cubicle door. It says how the baseless accusation spoke volumes of how little we knew each other after someone allegedly answered “and what? Be the cliché of a tibak?”. Yes, it didn’t have to be black and white. If apathy is what they define as the lack of concern and enthusiasm to be concerned, then anyone, no matter what class he or she belongs to, doesn’t have to join rallies and shout infront of the administration (or the Malacañang palace in some cases) and use megaphones to voice out their cries to the deaf officials seated at their well-furnished thrones. I never joined any mobilization. We were once told that being a UP student, we should’ve at least experienced being shot by water hoses and pushed back by the police but I didn’t. I never wanted to. Then does that make me indifferent? Maybe. Maybe not.
Lethargy is not defined by a single or a particular group of persons. We can never share the same interests and priorities of any matter. As individuals we have different struggles that we first have to focus at and settle, thus making us apathetic to others. We are constantly fighting for something. Our desire to be free from subjugation will never cease so long as there are subjugators. In my case, I’m fighting for my right to be right if I am. The tyrant of this house has been so convicted that she is never wrong, and if I debate that she is, she will claim that I never want to be wrong. Sooner, I will have to shout in her face that at times I’ve been right, but I chose to be wrong just because she wanted to be right.
In the meantime, I will be transgressing against her through this piece of online paper.