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Wordiness at its Best

17 Nov

First of all, I want to thank Miss Ramirez for inspiring me to write again. It’s been years since I last put my thoughts into words. I threw away my passion for writing just as I lost my one subject that gave me reason to use words in the most beautiful way.
Many times I have attempted to go back to the old writer that I was. I take a piece of paper and a pen, I start to write, yeah. But along the way, as the space of the paper left to be written on becomes less and less, I lose the words and I fail to put my message to a close. I said to myself just now that I would learn to write again. But I guess if you lose love for words, words will lose love for you.
I have been staring at the monitor for an hour and all I got to say was this half-screen collection of sentences that make absolutely no sense. If I were a writer in The Philippine Collegian, I bet readers would always leave my column unread. In the first place, there is nothing to read about this that would interest people. Then again, I shouldn’t care.  I’m not writing for anyone but myself.
Maybe I should write again. I mean, I already started to when I took CW10 and ENG1 for GEs. But the devil in me will always choose to throw away my writings when they have no effect on my grades anymore.  I know I changed. I’m not the crybaby I was when I was in high school. In a way I learned to fight for what I think is right when way back I would sulk in a corner and cry like a two year old. Yes, I am stronger now, but I can always be at my weakest – and I realize that in these instances do I need something to let my guts spill out.
I began to be a loner when I entered this school. I was completely lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces after relying on the same people for 10 years. At first I didn’t mind it. After all, I’m here to learn, not to linger. But at times that I need shoulders to lean on and hankies to borrow and chests to bury my face into, I find none. I miss my high school friends. I wanted to go back in time, but I have to face the fact that I can’t. I am old enough and therefore I should be more self-dependent. Still I’m writing on this virtual paper. I didn’t mind to read whatever is above to check grammar or spelling errors. As far as I know, this is only the beginning. What I’m trying to say is that, when there’s no one else who can help me, words will always be around.

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2008 in Healing Oneself

 

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